Happy tiki

I made this guy many years ago as a sort of totem. At the time, I had taken a keen (if misplaced) interest in shamanism. He is made from a hunk of bald cypress wood that I found washed up on a beach. The feather is probably that of a hawk or an owl - also found on a beach but illegal to possess. Technically, any non-game bird feather is illegal to possess in the U.S. is illegal to possess without a permit, including blue jay, flicker, and seagull feathers, among others.

This law makes every kid who sticks a gull feather into his or her sand castle at the beach a federal criminal. Thus, I call for the immediate trial and incarceration of these delinquent miscreants post haste. Let us fill Fort Leavenworth, Kansas with their evil, plotting criminal minds and rid the world of this ongoing threat to our security and well-being.