Give your baby the best!

Make her drink this shit.

What is it?

Why, it's Dr. H.C. Porter's Infants Relief and Mother's Repose, whatever the hell that is. See, in 1891, "drug companies" didn't have to list the old active (assuming there were any) and inactive ingredients like they do today - although this one does. It evidently contained the ever so effective bi-carbonate soda, peppermint, rhubarb, and 7% alcohol. I say keep the first three, kick up the fourth to about 40%, and throw in some bleu cheese olives and the tiniest whiff of vermouth...now THAT'S medicine.


I'm not going to replicate all of the text on the box here, but I will post the other sides of the box so you can read it yourself. This stuff probably falls squarely into the category of medicine known parochially as "snake oil".

You got a boo boo?

Put this shit on it. It's an old iodine tincture ampule, probably WW1 vintage. If you look really carefully, there's a red square with "POISON" and a skull and crossbones right in the middle of the field of text.

The antidote for ingestion is an egg white and flour in water.

One more step, and you'd have a biscuit...