Not a sword...

I am reluctant to post this, since it is neither old nor unique. This is a machete (incorrectly called a "katana" by its maker) that looks vaguely like a sword. It was made my Ontario Knives, and I bolt it to the side of my lawn tractor in season to prune overhanging limbs and the inevitable sticker bushes that fringe my property. Frankly, this piece is just filler, since I haven't the energy to blog during the holiday weekend. Enjoy it as such...

Another ugly knife

This is another hideous monstrosity that I only post here for sentimental reasons. This is an unmarked (who'd claim it?) Bowie-style knife with a steel handle with, of all things, ducks in flight adorning it in bold relief. It was another one of my grandfather's hand-me-downs. He kept this one in the side panel of his old Ford pick-up truck, ready to strap to his (or my) hip on impromptu evening trips to Bower's Beach or Port Mahon. It's so spectacularly ugly that it definitely provided me with great incentive to remember to pack along my own sheath knife on overnight trips to the grandparents' house. When if finally came home to roost (as it were), my affection for the horrid thing took time to grow - which it eventually did. Now I think of it as an old (of ugly) friend.

Oh deer...

Oh, this piece is SO tacky I'm hesitant to even post it. This ugly thing is an American (who else?) sheath knife in the tradition of Daniel Boone meets Open Season. While otherwise perfectly normal and well proportioned, the handle of this monstrosity is a deer's hoof. With fur.


Words fail me. It what frigging universe is a knife handle made of deer hoof and fur practical, let alone appealing? I include this here because it was a gift from an old friend, who inherited this...specimen...from her now-deceased father and who thought my collection would be a fitting repository for this...thing.

I'm flattered.

On the other hand, a three-legged deer-foot lamp is probably already available at a flea market near you. If you find it, drop me a line and we can begin the process of reassembly...